I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
i now understand why vodka
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
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