Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
Randomize
