but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
How does it feel to date your dad?
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
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