left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
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