hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
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