I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
