I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
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