I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
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