normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
