Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
