what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
He did a backflip because drugs
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
