By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Randomize
