spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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