Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
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