i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
Well I just put wine in my tea
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
Randomize
