this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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