He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
Randomize
