question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
