last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
