well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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