i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
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