I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
I intend to get homeless drunk
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
I am mentally ready for anal.
Randomize
