She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
Randomize
