I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
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