we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
Vodka?
Forever.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
Randomize
