we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
