I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
