We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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