I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
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