We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
Randomize
