A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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