In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
Randomize
