Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Randomize
