I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
Randomize
