i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
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