I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
Randomize
