I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
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