from now on my penis is your penis
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
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