Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
Randomize
