That's when you crack a 10am beer
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
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