Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
It was confusing and full of hummus
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
Randomize
