They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
Randomize
