I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
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