he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
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