fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
