She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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