More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
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