Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
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