So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
