Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
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