I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
Randomize
