I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
And then he peed in my hair
We smell like vodka and hangover
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